Today we're extensive aback into the basement for one of our admired Halloween appearance about the hilariously abhorrent anime Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned.
I've mentioned afore that Marvel's long-running Tomb of Dracula assistant by Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan appearance my admired adjustment of the Lord of All Vampires, and account through the alternation I bethink cerebration that it would be a abundant antecedent for a TV or cine adaptation. Little did I apperceive that that already happened in Japan, acknowledgment to a feature-length anime appropriate from 1980 alleged Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned, which abundantly centered about Dracula burglary the adherent of the absolute Devil and aggravating to accumulate Satan himself from accepting laid. Like so abounding things in the 21st century, the absolute blur has fabricated its way to Youtube in six parts, and we've got annotation to booty you through the accomplished thing.
0:35: Appropriate from the start, things accept already gotten crazy. Not alone does a cine about Dracula accessible with shots of alien amplitude -- ambience up the affiance of Amplitude Draculas that I assure you will not be delivered aloft -- but we additionally get maybe the best bromidic chantry best of all time:
Alike so, that's a appealing alarming title. Admitting I do feel accountable to point out that I'm appealing abiding the appellation "Sovereign of the Damned" was actually captivated by Ronnie James Dio in 1980, and has aback been anesthetized bottomward to Lemmy Kilmister.
0:37: You'd anticipate cogent a adventure of Dracula that begins "at the aurora of creation" would be appealing exciting, and yet this narrator could alone be added acutely phoning it in if he was, in fact, on an absolute phone.
1:24: Seriously, this dude sounds like a narrator in an educational filmstrip. "No, it's not magic, Timmy! It's the abracadabra of... Chemistry!"
1:44: At first, I anticipation that the long, continued looks at Dracula's bank decorations ability accept been an artful best I aloof didn't get, but afresh a acquaintance of abundance acicular out that they were allegedly meant to accept credits superimposed on them at some point. Why they don't, however, I accept no idea.
2:53: The Lord of All Vampires would, of course, set up boutique in Boston, as he thinks it's actually amusing to apprehend bodies bark things like "Holy Crap! I aloof saw Dracular out inna gahden!"
3:08: Well, at atomic our narrator brings the applesauce aback it's time to say article like "unholy desecration."
3:52: Okay, seriously: What affectionate of rinky-dink Satanic Afterlife Cult schedules a aggregation of contractors to appear over and install their base pentagram with a set of chisels at the exact aforementioned time as their daemonic rituals?
That is some monumentally poor planning. Get it together, Satanic Afterlife Cult. Yeesh.
7:34: Here's how you apperceive Dracula is awesome: That dude aloof formed up into a affair and blanket the Devil's girlfriend. That is baller as Hell. Literally.
8:53: Dracula's light-up fangs are amazing and charge to be in every distinct adjustment of the character, ever.
LED technology is there, filmmakers. Get on it.
9:10: Ha ha, accept guys. Real funny. Now where's the REAL articulation you're activity to be application for Dracula?
10:35: At last, we see the alarming admeasurement of Dracula's power! His chaw can booty a accustomed woman...
...and about-face her into Smurfette! All this time you anticipation Gargamel was a bad guy, turns out he's aloof aggravating to accumulate that backwoods safe from the affliction of the undead.
10:48: All badinage aside, this attack is appealing fantastic:
It's abundantly activating and evocative, and I accept is aggressive anon by Gene Colan's art, from aback he drew the crossover amid Dracula and one of Toei's added properties, Daft Punk's "Interstella 5555."
12:52: "Long pointy teeth like a wolf or somethin'!" Yes, a wolf. That is actually the best way to call a humanoid animal with fangs who drinks claret by night. Surely, there is no added word, one that appealing abundant everybody knows, that could be acclimated in that book to accomplish things a little added clear.
14:24: This is Frank Drake, who, forth with Quincy Harker (who is for some acumen alleged Hans in this movie) and Rachel Van Helsing, was the primary advocate (or antagonist, depending on how you attending at it) of "Tomb of Dracula" Everything you actually charge to apperceive about him is summed up appealing quick appropriate actuality at the alpha of the movie, in that he's a abroad brood of Big D's who has afflicted his name to abstain the stigma that goes forth with it. His aboriginal name was "Francis."
Also of note: Frank Drake isn't into mysteries, buttercup.
0:03: If the choir are annihilation to go by, tonight the allotment of Quincy Harker will be played by Snidely Whiplash.
0:40: WARNING: Quincy Harker will flick the pikestaff and carve you in the face.
I could actively watch that all day. The little blaze on the brand aloof cracks me appropriate up.
0:45: And speaking of things I could watch all day, this is now a cine area a adolescent adult pushes an old dude in a wheelchair about a esplanade while he tries to ache a adolescent man for not antisocial Dracula enough, all of which happens in ample daylight. If this had been the absolute agreeable of "Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned," it would justifiably be admired as the distinct greatest activated blur of all time.
1:01: In case you had any doubts that this affair actually was anime, dig Frank's "DragonBall"-esque apathetic motion aerial kick:
What it lacks in the all-but-mandatory acceleration lines, it makes up for in austere bellbottoms.
3:03: Far be it from me to criticize Abraham Van Helsing and Jonathan Harker's vampire-slaying address actuality -- my ability actuality bound to assault Dracula to afterlife with a abracadabra whip in "Castlevania" -- but they accept got to be the best bootless vampire hunters ever. I'm activity to go out on a limb actuality and say that if you go into a alcazar to annihilate a vampire and he wakes up aback you've got the pale up adjoin his chest, aloof go advanced and batter it in. Or at the absolute least, don't aloof angle there not accomplishing annihilation while he stands up and starts to annihilation you with his teeth.
These guys are abecedarian hour, I swear.
4:08: Amid Drake's abnormally accustomed appearance architecture and Rachel's appealing absolute "ugh" at the anticipation of activity out with him, this affair is basically two wristbands abroad from actuality "Scott Pilgrim and Kim Pine Action Dracula." Which, now that I accept accounting it down, needs to appear yesterday.
6:57: Turns out Satan is actually not air-conditioned with accepting his adherent stolen.
Added things Satan is not air-conditioned with: Pants.
10:59: Brother, if you don't anticipate Dracula's son actuality built-in on Christmas Eve is some anxiety of things to come, you may appetite to aloof bond out now. This affair has not yet amorphous to get crazy.
11:58: No lie, the map of Dracula's acceptable locations is fantastic.
It makes me admiration if Dracula best the spots to accomplish his murders on purpose in adjustment to actualize his own logo aloof in case anyone was acute it out on a map, and I'm activity to go advanced and say yes, that is actually what he did. Because he's Dracula. And that's how Dracula rolls.
13:08: Oh man. Giving your old adult the "I'm actually Dracula, not Satan" speech. We've all been there, am I appropriate fellas?
0:14: It's about this point area the cine starts to lose me, with its assuming of Dracula as a acute guy who was actually abject out about accepting to do all that impaling aback in the day. Admittedly, the real-life Vlad III may accept had altogether acceptable affidavit for accomplishments that abounding his Wikipedia access up with phrases like "those who did not die from burnout were impaled," but I like my Draculas to be unrepentant bastards who say things like this:
The bow-tie and Mr. Miracle's cape are optional.
3:28: Yes. You heard that correctly. This absolute cine is predicated on Dracula attempting to accumulate the Devil from accepting laid. Say what you appetite about his role as the abiding adversary of mankind, but basing your accomplished operation about cockblocking Lucifer? That takes moxie.
3:29: So that's actually the articulation you're activity with for Dracula, guys? And you're activity to almanac it in an abandoned besom closet? well, okay...
4:40: As it turns out, Dracula doesn't charge to await on his anesthetic admiral and command over the creatures of the night to get women...
...he does it by bland listening, and talking to them, not at them. Booty notes, guys.
In a accompanying story, that ability actually be my admired account of Dracula ever: Dressed up for a adorned meal, accepting a cup of coffee with a accomplished lady, arresting a archetypal Senior Portrait pose. Amazing.
4:58: Is there annihilation added adventurous than analogous His 'n' Hers crazily anachronistic bouncing high-collar vampire capes? ... Yeah, you're right. There are allegedly many, abounding things added adventurous than that. Especially aback Dracula is cutting his cape at home, while accepting a nice babble with his wife. I adulation that guy so much.
5:06: It's important to agenda that aback Dolores says that Dracula "could not possibly be all evil," she's still comparing him to the absolute Devil. Dude is still Dracula, lady; he actually eats people.
6:32: Considering how abounding it is of shots like this...
...I'm accurately afraid that this cine was never aloof repackaged as an activated "Dark Shadows" tie-in. Also, I'm not abiding what the able accent of articulation is for a bandage like "It's a bulletin from the Disciples of Satan" is, but I'm activity to go advanced and say that "perky optimism" may accept been the amiss choice.
Of note: Dracula still primarily corresponds via carrier pigeon and alone campaign by horse-drawn buggy. In 1980.
6:46: Wait, did you guys not aloof now accomplishment talking about how you pissed off the Disciples of Satan? And now you're actually into their action to monkey about with your babyish application their devil magic, which at atomic one of you knows immediate is usually meted out in the anatomy of abhorrent curses?
Dracula, you f***ing idiot.
11:04: Of course, why decay time with curses...
..when you could aloof cull out a gun and shoot a baby.
I anticipate I can see why this cine never got advanced distribution.
12:15: Villain or not, I'm not abiding anyone has anytime had a bigger acumen to go banana, asphyxiate bodies out and alpha throwing girls at bodies in a wheelchair than accepting one's babyish attack with a blaster pistol. That is beeline up justified.
13:30: So justified, in fact, that I'm actually not that into seeing Frank's amazing attack to accompany bottomward Dracula...
...with the ability of Karate. And normally, I would be way into that.
0:02: As of this writing, there are aught -- that's aught -- rap songs that sample both Dracula's "NOOOOO MY DARLING BABY!" and the exhausted from Justin Bieber's accident hit "Baby." Appear on, Adam Warrock. Get your arch in the bold here.
0:22: It is actually amazing to me that this attack has never been acclimated as the awning for a Heavy Metal album. It does attending appealing familiar, though.
Hang on, let me attending through my accumulating of rarities and see if I can't acquisition the attenuate import-only Japanese absolution from AxeWulf, Sweden's best barbarous batter metal band.
A-Ha!
I knew it was too acceptable to be missed.
0:35: Dracula's terrible, fatigued out "BAWWWWWW." Still bigger than Darth Vader's "NOOOOOOO."
1:14: Alike aback it's done analytic able-bodied -- like in the Darwyn Cooke-directed aperture arrangement of "Batman Beyond" -- there is annihilation funnier to me than action bodies dancing.
Especially if they bandy in a abandoned checkered strobe light.
1:35: You ability anticipate this guy is a absolute edge (brother, the alone guys who can cull off that beard are Tony Stark and Count Dracula), but Fun Fact: In 1980, it was advised able allure to aloof beeline body-check a babe on the ball floor.
1:40: It should additionally be acclaimed that at this point, we accept entered an absolutely altered cine than the one we started with. Seriously, the bigger blemish in this affair (aside from the actuality that it's not all wheelchair swordfights, club dances and karate moves) is that in attempting to carbon the assistant for the screen, they aloof went advanced and mashed up three or four adventure arcs with alone the barest attack to affix them. It may accept formed bigger if it was appear as episodes or as an OVA, but all together, the accomplished thing's a mess. I mean, you'd anticipate "Dracula vs. Satan" would accommodate you with two hours of ball afterwards throwing Dracula's Jesus Babyish in there too.
3:44: Quincy Harker has alone anytime heard of punctuation, but hasn't gotten the adventitious to try it out for himself. Every time that dude opens his mouth, it's like accepting an infodump from a chilling adventure of "Speed Racer." "Secretly alien to Acceleration Racer X is in absoluteness Dracula the Lord of All Vampires who could be appropriate actuality in Boston beneath our noses and charge be defeated during the face through Casa Cristo's ice caves or else!"
3:55: Seriously, dude. Alike the dog is bored.
4:14: Holy crap, Quincy Harker aloof told addition not to feel accord for a woman whose babyish got shot. That is ice cold.
6:57: It occurs to me that some of you may be apprehensive about my use of the byword "Dracula's Jesus Baby" up there a minute ago. I assure you, that was not an exaggeration. That is what this cine is now about.
7:31: I like that Dracula can analyze "the Heavenly ablaze of revival" by sight. Dude has been around.
9:42: Janus's awakening as a adult man with Heavenly admiral is, like his absolutely antic outfit, acclimatized from article that happens in the comics. Except there, aback he aboriginal shows up, he fights Dracula on a roller coaster.
I am so amazingly aghast that this isn't the allotment actuality acclimatized in this cine that I candidly don't apperceive if I can accumulate watching it. Vampires on roller coasters, guys. That's what we could be watching appropriate now.
13:39: And suddenly, this cine has become a Jack Chick amplitude about how motorcycles advance to alcohol, which leads to drugs, which leads to admiration Satan, which leads to accepting a Dracula babyish that gets angry into Amplitude Jesus.
It's article today's kids charge to apperceive about.
0:36: Not to be ever analytical on Toei's action here, but this look's beneath like addition announcement the authentic ablaze of Heaven out of his eyes, and added like a guy aggravating to action Dracula by beeline up puking at him.
I mean, I accept no claimed acquaintance with the ablaze of Heaven, but I don't anticipate ablaze of any affectionate splashes aback it hits a curb, nor do I actually get why it's close chicken rather than, say, any added blush at all.
4:45: I like that the Devil keeps actuality referred to as "Satan Lucifer," as admitting those are his aboriginal and aftermost names. This is fantastic, as it gives me the abstraction that the Devil's mom is babble at him from aloof off-screen. "Satan Timothy Lucifer get up actuality and apple-pie this room! Ooh you aloof delay 'til your ancestor gets home, adolescent author-of-all-lies!"
4:47: Aloof in case you forgot this is from Toei, the aforementioned flat that fabricated "Sailor Moon," here's the bad guy giving a accent area he says the babble "love" bristles times in eight seconds.
5:50: Allegedly Satan is additionally the Author of All Exposition. Yeesh.
7:33: It is at this point, acknowledgment to some redirected Satan Lightning (the name of my new Slayer awning band) that the cine bliss off its third plot, in which Dracula has been de-vampirized.
I bluntness don't apperceive if this was meant to be appear episodically or not, but the accomplished affair strikes me as actuality absolutely motivated by accepting to ample time.
"Well, Dracula aloof had a acute action with the Devil himself on the Astral Alike over the adulation of his animal bride. That's a appealing acceptable abode to end it."
"We charge twenty added minutes."
"Oh crap. Accomplish him... uh... human?"
9:54: Okay, I'll accord 'Sovereign of the Damned" this:
Extended scenes of Dracula asthmatic bodies out and demography their wallets about -- about -- makes up for the abridgement of roller coaster combat.
10:27: I ambition I'd apparent this cine afore my contempo cruise to New York, because I actually would accept fabricated time to eat at Restaurant King:
Abundant like how Burger King is a restaurant that serves burgers, Restaurant King is an enactment that serves abate restaurants.
11:03: And now... Dracula Eating a Hamburger... FOREVER!!
11:54: Oh snap, did this affair aloof get adult on us?
Actually, it's important to agenda that this is allegedly addition acumen why "Sovereign of the Damned" never got advanced American distribution. While the magazine-sized black-and-white "Tomb of Dracula" belief had, like "Savage Sword of Conan," featured casual nudity, American action was still absolutely advised Kid Stuff. This was, afterwards all, a year afore the "Heavy Metal" movie, and nipple-free vampire sideboob could've beatific anxious parents into an absolute frenzy.
12:03: Dracula answer things by adage "Yeah, I had a altercation with Satan." Appealing great.
12:05: Also, I like that Layla puts on an absolute outfit, including cape, crown, and (apparently) a wig afore accepting bottomward to Vampire Business. You aloof don't see that abundant adherence amid the Creatures of the Night these days.
0:15: We're in the home stretch, and at this point, "Sovereign of the Damned' has gone absolutely off the rails. Dracula is abnormality about Transylvania and... how did he get there? Did he aloof asphyxiate out abundant bodies to get airfare? And did they let him abrasion that high-collar cape on the plane? 1980 was a altered time, you guys.
1:33: Is she actively recapping the artifice of the aftermost bisected hour of the movie? Yes. Yes she is.
3:29: And now, the final indignity:
Dracula has been taken in by a leash of advanced youngsters, one of whom appears to be a Ralph Bakshi hobbit.
5:03: Okay, okay, Dracula actuality crude into the artifice of "Night of the Living Dead" is appealing awesome, but it's too little, too late, Toei. Alike if Dracula is actually giving the army of zombies a attending that is beneath abhorrence and added absolute annoyance.
"Oh, this again."
6:04: Okay, okay, I accept it. This is appealing awesome.
7:57: And aloof in time for the end, things about-face alarming afresh with a arena area Dracula regains his applicable position by basically slapping a hardly added angry vampire in the face so adamantine that he dies.
And that's about it for "Dracula: Sovereign of the Damned." Was it great? No. No it was not. I mean, it's not alike the best motion account adjustment of "Tomb of Dracula" -- that account goes to "Blade," if alone because it includes the bandage "some motherf***er's consistently aggravating to ice skate uphill" -- but it's... it's...
It's actually about an hour and a half, isn't it?
