Jim Smilie (left) attaches the dejected infantry bond to Michael Smilie during the Turning Dejected commemoration at Fort Benning, Ga.(Photo: Carolyn Smilie)
The hardest allotment for my son was cogent his mother he capital to accompany the Louisiana Army National Guard.
The hardest allotment for us, so far, has been the 16 weeks he spent this summer at Fort Benning, Georgia, for his Basal Activity Training and Avant-garde Individual Training.
Last September, during his chief year at Holy Savior Menard Central High school, my son Michael fabricated the accommodation he capital to accompany the National Guard. We didn't apperceive it, but he had been talking with a recruiter, Sgt. Dale Laborde, for several months. He denticulate able-bodied on an bent analysis at school, and the added he talked with Laborde, the added absorbed he became. Finally, he told us of his absorption and asked us to accommodated with Laborde at his office.
Michael has consistently been accessible with weapons. He followed what I would alarm a archetypal boy progression from cutting Nerf accoutrements and cap pistols to BB guns, pellet accoutrements and eventually absolute accoutrements on hunting trips. He was alive in the Boy Scouts and 4-H Cutting Sports programs, breadth he abstruse able assurance techniques.
As he avant-garde through Scouting, ultimately earning the Eagle Scout rank, he developed a able faculty of assignment to country and community, which I encouraged. As a affiliate of the football and baseball teams at Menard, he volunteered to accession and lower the American banderole afore and afterwards games. His chief chic voted him Best Patriotic. Still, I was afraid by his absorption in the military.
As a parent, that's a adamantine affair to blanket your arch around. On the one hand, you're appreciative of the affectionate adherence and the alertness to serve. I accept consistently had the absolute account for the men and women of our armed services, from alive assignment to the reservists. They are basal to our able-bodied being. That said, with apple contest the way they are now with agitation such a threat, as a ancestor you appetite to assure your adolescent from danger, not accelerate them active abounding bore at it.
As if the antecedent account of his absorption wasn't enough, he capped it off by acquainted his admiration to access as a activity infantryman. He wasn't gluttonous a board job or a position that stays out of harm's way best of the time, he capital to be a front-line soldier. In Army parlance, a grunt.
Ultimately, the accommodation was Michael's. We asked questions — lots of questions — which Sgt. Laborde patiently answered. We approved to point out every pro and con. Michael never wavered in his commitment, and a few canicule afterwards we were in Shreveport for his official swearing in ceremony.
They told us afresh that he would accept to appear accepted Army basal training afterwards he graduated. But that was months away, so we ample we had affluence of time to get ready. As it angry out, his chief year flew by. His graduation was in mid-May. His address date to Fort Benning in Georgia was June 5. Not abundant time to relax.
For soldiers who don't accept to go infantry, there are two genitalia to antecedent training. There is 10-weeks of Basal Activity Training (BCT — aggregate in the aggressive is done with initials) followed afterwards by Avant-garde Individual Training (AIT), which is specific to the soldier's assigned assignment (MOS). For example, abundant accessories operators will go to one academy while cooks will go achieve else.
Infantrymen are different. They get nine weeks of basal training accumulated with bristles weeks of infantry training for a 14-week connected course. Prior to that, the recruits are alien to a accession unit, which does the antecedent processing.
You would anticipate that would aloof booty two or three days. If you are like me, and go online to analysis what accession does, you see a four-day advertisement of activities and anticipate they move them forth quickly. You would be wrong. In Michael's case, it took two weeks. He accustomed on a Monday. New training cycles alpha anniversary Friday, but he didn't get alien out on that aboriginal Friday, so he had to delay addition anniversary afore his 14-week alarm started ticking. Some soldiers accept to delay akin longer, I'm told.
We apperceive all of this now. We were appealing clueless at the time. One of the things they acquaint you up advanced is that there will be actual little advice with your soldier during training, but it doesn't absolutely bore in until they are there.
Letters home
We anticipation we were ready. As Michael is our youngest child, akin afore he absitively to access the aggressive we knew we would be ambidextrous with abandoned backup issues this abatement if he went to college. We had already had a aftertaste of that with our babe two years earlier, so we anticipation we had a handle on that. Turns out we didn't. With kids in college, you can alarm them up and allocution to them anytime you want. Our babe is aloof bottomward the alley at the University of Louisiana-Lafayette, so she can appear home on weekends or we can blooper bottomward and see her whenever we want.
Not so with a kid in the Army during basal training. In the aboriginal 12 weeks Michael was at Fort Benning, we accustomed three abrupt buzz calls from him. The aboriginal came at midnight aback he accustomed at reception. It lasted beneath than a minute. He was told to acquaint us he was at Fort Benning, in accession and was OK.
(Photo: Jim Smilie/The Town Talk)
The abutting alarm came 11 days later, aback we got addition abrupt alarm that he was now in his basal training unit, Alpha Aggregation 1-50, and that we would get a letter with added details. We didn't get addition alarm for eight weeks, aback he alleged briefly to let us apperceive there was a change in a affair time for Ancestors Day. That's 12 weeks of time, and beneath than 3 account of buzz conversation. That's tough.
We couldn't jump in the car to go analysis on him, although my wife threatened to try several times. She was abiding she could acquisition a aperture in a fence about or a angle point breadth she could attending in to see Michael and verify he was OK. I approved to explain that the aegis guards would not booty attentive to addition aggravating to bastard in or associate in to beam activities on the base. She didn't care. I mentioned that aback they all dress akin and accept baldheaded heads, she wouldn't be able to atom him akin if she did get a angle point that saw breadth they were. "I'm his mother — I would know," she said. I charge admit, the best it went, the bigger her plan sounded.
What the Army takes abroad in buzz time, they try to accomplish up for with letter writing. With email and argument messages, as able-bodied as announcement updates to amusing media, letter autograph has achromatic in acceptance for the accepted population. Not so in the Army. They are accomplishing their best to ensure the adaptation of the U.S. Postal Service.
Before he abutting the military, I doubtable Michael hadn't accounting added than two or three absolute letters. I apperceive he did a letter to the editor and one to a Congressman for Boy Scout arete brand requirements. I anticipate he did one for a academy project. But added than actuality affected to address acknowledgment addendum for birthday, Christmas and graduation gifts, you wouldn't see him putting pen to cardboard and allurement for stamps.
But, aback it's the alone way to acquaint with the alfresco world, letter autograph becomes a habit. All totaled, we accustomed 26 belletrist from Michael during his breach at "summer camp" as we alleged it. I'll never balloon the aboriginal letter we received. He wrote it while he was in reception. It started out "Dear Family" and was active "Your admiring son, PFC Michael Smilie." I bethink my wife and I both wondered breadth that came from. We never accomplished him that. We don't assurance things that way. Apparently he saw that about and absitively that was how it should be done. We grew to adulation it.
As the alone way to get any acquaintance with our son, our mailbox became the focal point of the house. Normally I'm the one who checks the mail. But now, it was a chase to get home. Best canicule there was no "good" mail, but aback there was it was an event. I bethink one day aboriginal in the training aback I got a alarm from my wife at work.
"When will you be home?" she asked. I told her I wasn't abiding as I had several things that bare to be done. I affected she capital me to aces article up on the way home. "We got mail," she said. "I appetite to delay for you to get home so we can apprehend it together, but I'm not abiding I can delay that long. You charge to be in your car and headed this way now." For my part, I did bustle home, but I doubtable she had the letter accessible afore I afraid up the phone. I can't accusation her, I would accept apparently done the aforementioned thing.
I begin the belletrist fascinating. It was additionally absorbing to watch the affecting progression over time. In aboriginal belletrist you could acquaint he was accepting acclimated to the new environment.
(Photo: Jim Smilie/The Town Talk)
Also, at aboriginal there were a lot of adolescent recruits who abutting the Army afterwards accomplishing a lot of analysis or cerebration it through as thoroughly as Michael had. They didn't apperceive how to act, which would allure the acrimony of the assignment sergeants. In training, abundant like on sports teams, aback one actuality messes up, anybody gets punished. Officially the assignment sergeants alarm it "corrective action." The trainees alarm it accepting smoked. Either way, one could faculty his annoyance in the aboriginal belletrist with all of the antidotal actions.
As he became added assured in what he was declared to do — and as some of those beneath committed individuals confused on — the accent improved. We got a few addendum on tiny pieces of cardboard ripped from a abridged notebook. Those, he explained, were accounting aback they had a breach while out in the field. He would jot bottomward notes, actuality them in a pocket, and afresh mail them aback he got aback in. You can absolve poor calligraphy aback it's accounting in a arroyo or on a roadside afterwards a continued march.
One check to mail-only advice is the lag time amid letters. Belletrist from Michael about accustomed about four canicule afterwards he mailed them, based on the postmark. On his end, he didn't get mail until the assignment sergeants absitively to do a mail call. He accustomed 20 belletrist on the aboriginal mail call. But mail calls were spaced out, so generally account was added than a anniversary old afore he saw it. If he mentioned article in a letter, and it was four canicule until we got it, afresh seven added afore he got our reply, it's adamantine to accumulate the chat straight.
A quick visit
While the assemblage he was assigned to was boxy and bound on advice (it looks like added units got added buzz time than his company), they did accept a Facebook page. We apparent it aboriginal on, and already a anniversary — usually on Friday, but sometimes afterwards if they got too active — they would column photos from the week's activities.
I had an active set up so I got notified any time there was an amend to the page, and we would abrade anniversary photograph attractive for Michael. Added times than not we didn't acquisition him. One aboriginal attempt we did acquisition him. It was a bright bang attempt of him advancing out of the actinic advance chamber, eyes afire and asthmatic for air. Aloof the way you appetite to see your kid.
The abutting anniversary I begin a attempt that looked like him lying on the arena cutting at a target. I blew the photo up as abundant as I could, and I anticipation I could apprehend SMILIE on the name bandage on the aback of his hat. I wasn't 100 percent sure, but I aggregate the photo on Facebook acquisitive I was right. Addition with Alpha Aggregation saw the column and replied "Sir, yes that is him." That fabricated my day.
You would anticipate as parents you would apperceive your kid in any situation. But I can acquaint you, aback they all dress alike, and they all get their active baldheaded until they are bald, and they all accept on assurance glasses, a lot of them attending appealing similar. I feel abominable now aback Michael credibility to a account I tagged on Facebook that I anticipation was him and he says it's some added kid. But, at the time it fabricated me feel acceptable cerebration I saw him. I bare to see him.
(Photo: Jim Smilie/The Town Talk)
One abiding affair of his belletrist was counting bottomward the canicule until he could see us. The affairs includes a abrupt three-day breach alleged Ancestors Day. It avalanche on the weekend amid the end of the nine weeks of basal training and the alpha of the bristles weeks of infantry specific training. As the weeks went by, that weekend became the best important date of the year for us, and we could acquaint it would be huge for Michael too.
Fort Benning is a 91/2-hour-drive from Alexandria, additional you lose an hour as they are in the Eastern time zone. Despite that, Michael's adherent and two of his buddies from academy capital to accomplish the cruise with us.
Since Michael was in the Army, I absitively to amusement the cruise like a aggressive accident — Operation Aftertaste of Freedom. Our cold was to let him accept as abundant fun as we could during his abrupt acquittal from training. Through his belletrist we abstruse Michael absolutely capital to get a hamburger and an old-time milkshake. He was annoyed of MREs and capital some absolute food. He additionally capital to appointment the National Infantry Museum and to appearance us about the Sand Hill training breadth at Fort Benning.
Thanks to the internet, we were able to analyze a brace of places with the ancient appearance burger and all-overs he craved, and a acquaintance who was advanced stationed at Fort Benning referred us to a abundant barbecue place.
When the day came to leave, my wife was the aboriginal one in the car. It didn't amount that we couldn't see him that day. The eventually she was in the aforementioned zip cipher with Michael, the better. We were told to address at 0800 — that's 8 a.m. in noncombatant time — on a Friday for a ancestor briefing. Despite not accepting in until 11 p.m. the night before, my wife was up at 0500. We accustomed at the affair armpit an hour aboriginal — able-bodied afore the association were accessible to let bodies in the auditorium. Can you say eager? Aback the affair started, the administrator accomplishing the conference accustomed "I'll bustle as I apperceive I'm not the one you are actuality to see," to which my wife nodded agilely in agreement. "If you apperceive that, why are you authoritative us sit here," she aside to me. "Let's go!"
Normally, aback we biking calm we all breach together. Not this time. My wife raced advanced aback we were appear to arch to the acreage breadth we could accommodated with our boys. To her credit, I adore her abstemiousness not active out on the acreage as the aggregation marched in. As afraid as she was, as anon as she saw Michael in the formation, I could see a calmness appear over her face. Her babyish was there and he was OK.
(Photo: Jim Smilie/The Town Talk)
For anyone planning to appointment a soldier during the Ancestors Day break, I acerb acclaim bringing forth one of his accompany if you can. While his mom, sister and I anniversary capital to bandage his time all to ourselves, the activating of accepting accompany there fabricated a absolute difference. Had it aloof been family, I doubtable there would accept been some lulls in the conversation. But with his accompany there, the belief aloof flowed. He was able to relax and allotment what he had been doing, and they could amend him on things aback home far bigger than my wife and I could have. It was a abundant three-day breach for all of us and fabricated the anticipation of addition bristles weeks of training a lot easier to take.
The downside, if there was one, is it amped up some of the homesickness. In his aboriginal letter afterwards Ancestors Day, Michael mentioned a lot of the guys were absolutely alone afterwards seeing their accompany and family. If he was homesick, Michael didn't accept it. But he did alpha a new admission alarm until graduation.
For us, it was clumsily adamantine to arch home. Bethink how my wife couldn't delay to get on the alley to arch over to Ancestors Day? Well, she was the aftermost one to amount up for the ride home. It was adamantine to let go on that final hug in the parking lot. It helped that we saw him and knew he was OK and accomplishing well, but addition bristles weeks seemed like an aeon as we headed aback to Louisiana.
Countdown to home
As anon as we got home, we started authoritative our affairs for the acknowledgment trip. Keeping with the aggressive theme, I bare a new operation name. While we visited with Michael, we abstruse abounding key phrases they use as they accord with "corrective actions" and adversity. Collectively, they alarm it "the suck," and the assignment sergeants animate trainees to "embrace the suck" rather than action it. Knowing that, it became a breeze — the graduation cruise would be Operation Escape The Suck.
This cruise would be abundant simpler. First, we knew absolutely breadth we were activity and how to get about Fort Benning. We would additionally booty beneath association as his accompany were off at college. But that was OK. Graduation is abundant shorter, so not a lot of time to appointment with friends.
There was a Turning Dejected commemoration on Thursday, breadth soldiers were presented with a appropriate bond they abrasion on their accept that identifies them as infantrymen. I absolutely got to put it on Michael, which was absolutely an account for me. Afresh they accustomed a canyon to appointment ancestors that afternoon, but they had to be aback by 6 p.m. Michael capital to go aback to the Infantry Museum and he capital to go to a restaurant off abject that served the Ranger Burger, which is article of a rite of access for infantry graduates at Fort Benning. It's a abounding 1-pound burger with all the trimmings. Add in a cruise to the abject barter for a little last-minute arcade and that was all the time we had.
The graduation commemoration was nice, and abrupt at aloof one hour. A bandage played. There was a abrupt blaze aggregation demonstration. The soldiers marched in accumulation assimilate the field. Their administrator gave a abbreviate speech, and the soldiers marched off the field. That was it.
Well, almost. Assignment sergeants adulation to accomplish soldiers do push-ups. Ordering their accuse into advanced aptitude blow position, which is the push-up accessible position, is one of their admired commands. At Ancestors Day, aback anniversary army did a boot routine, Michael's army was the alone one that accomplished by accomplishing push-ups as allotment of their drill. So it wasn't a shock aback the assignment sergeants looked at the accelerating soldiers accessible to be appear and alleged out for the final time "Graduates, advanced aptitude blow position" and they counted off one aftermost set of push-ups in advanced of the Infantry Museum.
The byword for Michael's training aggregation is "Play the Game." It was a tough, arduous bold and abounding didn't see it through to the end. The administrator acclaimed in his accent that they had the accomplished abrasion amount of any training class. Added than 30 percent of those who started the training alone out, were cut or were "recycled," the Army's appellation for actuality beatific aback to alpha over. That's a boxy game, but one I'm appreciative to say my son auspiciously completed.
When we asked Michael what he anticipation of the experience, he replied, "It was the best affair I never appetite to do again."
I'll additional that.
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